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10 Funny Quotes About New Year’s Resolutions

Joaquimma Anna by Joaquimma Anna
November 13, 2025
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As the new year approaches, many of us grapple with that age-old tradition: New Year’s resolutions. Despite their good intentions, these resolutions can sometimes elicit chuckles rather than determination. Here’s a collection of ten funny quotes that perfectly encapsulate the humorous side of those ambitious declarations.

“My New Year’s resolution is to stop procrastinating, but I’m going to start that next week.”

Funny procrastination quote

This humorous quote captures the paradox of resolutions, where the intention to change often gets postponed indefinitely. It’s a light-hearted reminder of how easy it is to delay personal growth.

“I can’t believe it’s been a year since I didn’t become a better person.”

Funny quote about self-improvement

Reflecting on unfulfilled aspirations, this quote humorously highlights the struggle many face with self-improvement. It’s a poignant jab at the futility of resolutions that often fade into oblivion.

“This year, I will be my own superhero. No capes needed!”

Superhero resolution quote

With a nod to self-empowerment, this playful twist encourages individuality, suggesting that we don’t need grand gestures—just a fun mindset to tackle the year ahead.

“My resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my resolutions.”

Resolution quote about social circles

Sometimes, the pressure to commit to resolutions can be overwhelming. This quip humorously underscores the relief that can come from distancing oneself from nagging expectations.

“I told myself I should stop eating junk food, but I’m a great liar.”

Funny food resolution quote

This comical confession highlights the internal battle many face around dietary resolutions. Perhaps we should just embrace our cravings with a wink and a nod!

“New Year’s resolutions are just a way to procrastinate on my procrastination.”

Procrastination quote

With a dash of irony, this quote captures the cyclical nature of making resolutions while simultaneously embracing our tendency to delay action—a delightful twist on the norm.

“Let’s be honest: my resolution is to just stay alive regardless of what day it is!”

Survival resolution quote

Amid the chaos of life, this quote serves as a humorous nudge to celebrate simple survival. Sometimes, that’s the best plan of action!

“This year, I will motivate myself. I’m okay with a little help from my friends!”

Friendship quote about motivation

With a touch of camaraderie, this amusing take on resolutions highlights the value of support among friends, making the journey to self-improvement a shared adventure.

“If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.”

Skydiving quote

Not every resolution has to be serious! This cheeky remark brings a light-hearted perspective to the notion of success and failures, suggesting we know our limits.

“I’m going to work on my resolutions until they become ‘me-solutions!’”

Personal growth quote

This humorous twist indicates a shift from obligatory resolutions to embracing personal identity. Why not celebrate ourselves in the process of evolution?

In the spirit of the New Year, these quotes serve not only as comic relief but also as philosophical nudges toward self-acceptance amidst life’s humorous realities. Let the laughs roll as you embark on your journey of self-reflection this New Year!

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