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10 Funny Quotes About Football

Joaquimma Anna by Joaquimma Anna
November 7, 2025
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Football, often referred to as the beautiful game, is not just about skills, tactics, and athleticism. It’s also a fertile ground for humor, offering amusing quotes that capture the eccentricity and excitement of the sport. Here are ten funny quotes about football that will surely make you chuckle and perhaps even reflect on the lighter side of the game.

“The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.” – Unknown

Funny football quote image

This quote hilariously juxtaposes the mundane chore of ironing with a cheeky twist, emphasizing the unexpected pleasures that can arise in our daily lives—a sentiment any football fan can appreciate.

“I’d cleave a man’s head clean off with one kick, whilst ensuring a bit of style.” – Eric Cantona

Eric Cantona football quote image

My, what a fascinating proclamation from the enigmatic Eric Cantona. It captures the ferocity of football while emphasizing flair, showcasing the duality that makes the sport so compelling.

“Football is gentleman’s game played by beasts; rugby is a beast’s game played by gentlemen.” – Winston Churchill

Winston Churchill football quote image

In this witticism, Churchill elegantly dissects the personality of both football and rugby, providing a humorous lens through which we can view the macho dives and clever strategies that define the game.

“I always say that I am not a good player, but I am a fantastic footballer.” – Eric Cantona

Eric Cantona funny football quote image

Here, Cantona revels in the irony of his statement, underscoring the subjective nature of greatness in football. It’s a reminder that confidence and self-assurance are just as vital as talent.

“Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race.” – H.G. Wells

H.G. Wells football quote image

A whimsical perspective from Wells, this quote evokes laughter while subtly lauding the carefree joy that sports like football can inspire, even as it takes a jab at societal norms.

“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese

Betty Reese football quote image

Reese’s clever wit highlights that size does not determine impact, beautifully paralleling the underdog spirit that football often embodies—especially during nail-biting matches.

“The ball is round, the game lasts ninety minutes, and everything else is just theory.” – Sepp Herberger

Sepp Herberger football quote image

Herberger’s astute observation succinctly captures the essence of the game, humorously nudging us to remember that no amount of strategy can predict the chaotic beauty of football.

“I told my team that they are not going home until we win this match. They think I am kidding.” – Unknown

Unknown football joke image

This quote is a delightful revelation of the often humorous tactics that coaches employ, reaffirming the lengths to which some will go to inspire competitiveness.

“I’d like to be a mole in the ground, so I can see them all lose.” – Unknown

Humorous football quote image

A playful twist on rivalry, this jest resonates with football enthusiasts who understand that the thrill of competition often includes a hearty dose of lighthearted antagonism.

“You can’t win anything with kids.” – Alan Hansen

Alan Hansen football quote image

This infamous remark underscores the blend of humor and realism that epitomizes Hansen’s football insights, a reminder of the weight that younger players can have on a team’s journey.

These whimsical quotes illuminate the levity often found within the passion of football, serving as a reminder that amid the fierce competition, laughter remains an integral part of the game. Embrace the joy as you share these humorous insights with fellow fans!

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