A large collection of funny or strong woman quotes and man quotes

A large collection of funny or strong woman quotes and man quotes

woman quotes,man quotes,strong women quotes,funny women quotes,great women quotes

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A good cigar is as great a comfort to a man as a good cry is to a woman. — Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton

 

A highbrow is a man who has found something more interesting than women. — Edgar Wallace,woman quotes

 

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. — Carrie Snow

 

A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her. — Oscar Wilde

 

A man chases a woman until she catches him. — American Proverb,woman quotes

 

A man is as good as he has to be, and a woman is as bad as she dares. — Elbert Hubbard,woman quotes

 

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction. — Oscar Wilde,woman quotes

 

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are. — Chauncey Mitchell Depew

 

A woman asks little of love: only that she be able to feel like a heroine. — Mignon McLaughlin,woman quotes

 

A woman can look both moral and exciting… if she also looks as if it was quite a struggle. — Edna Ferber

 

A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. — Arnold Haultain,woman quotes

 

A woman should be an illusion. — Ian Fleming,woman quotes

 

A woman should soften but not weaken a man. — Sigmund Freud,woman quotes

 

A woman wears her tears like jewelry. — Author Unknown

 

A woman who cannot be ugly is not beautiful. — Karl Kraus,woman quotes

 

A woman who gives any advantage to a man may expect a lover — but will sooner or later find a tyrant. — Lord Byron

 

A woman's hopes are woven of sunbeams; a shadow annihilates them. — George Eliot,woman quotes

 

After about twenty years of marriage, I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of that one. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. — Mel Gibson

 

Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent. — Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

 

All women are basically in competition with each other for a handful of eligible men. — Mignon McLaughlin

 

And verily, a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them. — Helen Rowland

 

Be to her virtues very kind,Be to her faults a little blind.— Matthew Prior,woman quotes

 

Being a lady is an attitude. — Chuck Woolery,woman quotes

 

Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football. — Fran Lebowitz

 

Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship. — Oscar Wilde

 

But there certainly are not so many men of large fortune in the world as there are of pretty woman to deserve them. — Jane Austen

 

Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women. — Nicole Hollander,woman quotes

 

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away. — Laurence J. Peter

 

Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right — instantly. — Sam Slick,woman quotes

 

Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman's weapon is her tongue. — Hermione Gingold

 

God did it on purpose so that we may love you men instead of laughing at you. — Mrs Patrick Campbell

 

Good-looking girls break hearts, and goodhearted girls mend them. — Mignon McLaughlin,woman quotes

 

However, I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to match the men. — George Eliot

 

I expect Woman will be the last thing civilized by Man. — George Meredith,woman quotes

 

I have an idea that the phrase "weaker sex" was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm. — Ogden Nash

 

I married beneath me — all women do. — Nancy Astor,woman quotes

 

I prefer the word homemaker, because housewife always implies that there may be a wife someplace else. — Bella Abzug

 

I should like to know what is the proper function of women, if it is not to make reasons for husbands to stay at home, and still stronger reasons for bachelors to go out. — George Eliot

 

I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason. — Stanley Baldwin,woman quotes

 

I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they're the first to be rescued off sinking ships. — Gilda Radner

 

If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she's late? Nobody. — J.D. Salinger

 

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base. — Dave Barry

 

If the wife sins, the husband is not innocent. — Italian proverb,woman quotes

 

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. — Aristotle Onassis

 

If women were as fastidious as men, morally or physically, there would be an end of the race. — George Bernard Shaw

 

If you are ever in doubt as to whether to kiss a pretty girl, always give her the benefit of the doubt. — Thomas Carlyle

 

If your husband expects you to laugh, do so; if he expects you to cry, don't; if you don't know what he expects, what are you doing married? — Mignon McLaughlin

 

I'm not against half naked girls — not as often as I'd like to be. — Benny Hill,woman quotes

 

In passing, also, I would like to say that the first time Adam had a chance he laid the blame on woman. — Nancy Astor

 

Is it too much to ask that women be spared the daily struggle for superhuman beauty in order to offer it to the caresses of a subhumanly ugly mate? — Germaine Greer

 

It is only rarely that one can see in a little boy the promise of a man, but one can almost always see in a little girl the threat of a woman. — Alexandre Dumas, fils

 

It is the woman who chooses the man who will choose her. — Paul Geraldy,woman quotes

 

It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son — and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him. — Helen Rowland

 

It upsets women to be, or not to be, stared at hungrily. — Mignon McLaughlin

 

It's the good girls who keep the diaries; the bad girls never have the time. — Tallulah Bankhead

 

I've reached the age where competence is a turn-on. — Billy Joel,woman quotes

 

Let us leave the beautiful women to men with no imagination. — Marcel Proust,woman quotes

 

Look like a girl, act like a lady, think like a man and work like a dog. — Caroline K. Simon

 

Lovely female shapes are terrible complicators of the difficulties and dangers of this earthly life, especially for their owners. — George du Maurier

 

Man is always looking for someone to boast to; woman is always looking for a shoulder to put her head on. — Henry Louis Mencken

 

Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell. — Alfred Lord Tennyson

 

Men get laid, but women get screwed. — Quentin Crisp,woman quotes

 

Men get to be a mixture of the charming mannerisms of the women they have known. — Unknown Source

 

Men look at themselves in mirrors. Women look for themselves. — Elissa Melamed,woman quotes

 

Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got. — Josh Billings,woman quotes

 

Men never remember, but women never forget. — Unknown Source

 

Men often give love for sex, women often give sex for love. — Unknown Source

 

Men really prefer reasonably attractive women; they go after the sensational ones to impress other men. — Mignon McLaughlin

 

Men who don't like girls with brains don't like girls. — Mignon McLaughlin,woman quotes

 

Men will always delight in a woman whose voice is lined with velvet. — Brendan Francis,woman quotes

 

Much can be inferred about a man from his mistress: in her one beholds his weaknesses and his dreams. — Georg C. Lichtenberg

 

My eleven-year-old daughter mopes around the house all day waiting for her breasts to grow. — Bill Cosby

 

Nature has given women so much power that the law has very wisely given them little. — Samuel Johnson

 

Next to the wound, what women make best is the bandage. — Jules Barbey d'Aurevilly,woman quotes

 

No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not. — H.L. Mencken

 

No woman wants to see herself too clearly. — Mignon McLaughlin,woman quotes

 

Once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her. — John Vanbrugh

 

One is not born a woman, one becomes one. — Simone de Beauvoir,woman quotes

 

She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak. — Woody Allen

 

So it is naturally with the male and the female; the one is superior, the other inferior; the one governs, the other is governed; and the same rule must necessarily hold good with respect to all mankind. — Aristotle

 

Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time. — Helen Rowland,woman quotes

 

Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece. — Author Unknown

 

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. — Author Unknown

 

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. — Helen Rowland

 

The cocks may crow, but it's the hen that lays the egg. — Margaret Thatcher,woman quotes

 

The cruelest thing a man can do to a woman is to portray her as perfection. — D. H. Lawrence,woman quotes

 

The essence of life is the smile of round female bottoms, under the shadow of cosmic boredom. — Guy de Maupassant

 

The girls that are always easy on the eyes are never easy on the heart. — Author Unknown

 

The great living experience for every man is his adventure into the woman. The man embraces in the woman all that is not himself, and from that one resultant, from that embrace, comes every new action. — D. H. Lawrence

 

The man's desire is for the woman; but the woman's desire is rarely other than for the desire of the man. — Samuel Taylor Coleridge

 

The most popular image of the female despite the exigencies of the clothing trade is all boobs and buttocks, a hallucinating sequence of parabolae and bulges. — Germaine Greer

 

The people I'm furious with are the women's liberationists. They keep getting up on soapboxes and proclaiming women are brighter than men. That's true, but it should be kept quiet or it ruins the whole racket. — Anita Loos

 

The rarest thing in the world is a woman who is pleased with photographs of herself. — Elizabeth Metcalf,woman quotes

 

The source of all life and knowledge is in man and woman, and the source of all living is in the interchange and the meeting and mingling of these two: man-life and woman-life, man-knowledge and woman-knowledge, man-being and woman-being. — D. H. Lawrence

 

The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them. — Robert Graves,woman quotes

 

The torment that so many young women know, bound hand and foot by love and motherhood, without having forgotten their former dreams. — Simone de Beauvoir

 

The two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife is handy. — Ellery Queen,woman quotes

 

There are three things men can do with women: love them, suffer for them, or turn them into literature. — Stephen Stills

 

There are women who do not like to cause suffering to many men at a time, and who prefer to concentrate on one man: These are the faithful women. — Alfred Capus

 

There is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women. — Madeleine K. Albright,woman quotes

 

There is no such thing as an ugly woman. — Vincent Van Gogh,woman quotes

 

There's just something about letting a girl have her way with you. — A.C. Van Cherub,woman quotes

 

There's something luxurious about having a girl light your cigarette. In fact, I got married once on account of that. — Harold Robbins

 

They may talk of a comet, or a burning mountain, or some such bagatelle; but to me a modest woman, dressed out in all her finery, is the most tremendous object of the whole creation. — Oliver Goldsmith

 

To get to a woman's heart, a man must first use his own. — Mike Dobbertin,woman quotes

 

Usually the woman has an appointment with destiny, and the man just happens to be there. — Robert Brault

 

What a strange thing man is; and what a stranger thing woman. — Lord Byron,woman quotes

 

What men desire is a virgin who is a whore. — Edward Dahlbert,woman quotes

 

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. — Charlotte Whitton

 

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute. — Author Unknown

 

When I glimpse the backs of women's knees I seem to hear the first movement of Beethoven's "Pastoral Symphony." — Author Unknown

 

When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. — Gail Sheehy

 

When women go wrong, men go right after them. — Mae West,woman quotes

 

Whether they give or refuse, it delights women just the same to have been asked. — Ovid,woman quotes

 

While farmers generally allow one rooster for ten hens, ten men are scarcely sufficient to service one woman. — Giovanni Boccaccio

 

Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women? — Virginia Woolf,woman quotes

 

With men, as with women, the main struggle is between vanity and comfort; but with men, comfort often wins. — Mignon McLaughlin

 

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat. — Oscar Wilde,woman quotes

 

Woman's virtue is man's greatest invention. — Cornelia Otis Skinner, attributed

 

Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember. — Author Unknown

 

Women are always beautiful. — Ville Valo,woman quotes

 

Women are beautiful, and yummy. — A.C. Van Cherub,woman quotes

 

Women are in league with each other, a secret conspiracy of hearts and pheromones. — Camille Paglia,woman quotes

 

Women are like dogs really. They love like dogs, a little insistently. And they like to fetch and carry and come back wistfully after hard words, and learn rather easily to carry a basket. — Mary Roberts Rinehart

 

Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one. — W.C. Fields

 

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more. — James Thurber,woman quotes

 

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. — Bill Maher,woman quotes

 

Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty-eight and forty. — James Thurber,woman quotes

 

Women do not find it difficult nowadays to behave like men, but they often find it extremely difficult to behave like gentlemen. — Compton Mackenzie

 

Women dress alike all over the world: they dress to be annoying to other women. — Elsa Schiaparelli

 

Women get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. — Author Unknown

 

Women have served all these centuries as looking-glasses possessing the magic and delicious power of reflecting the figure of man at twice its natural size. — Virginia Woolf

 

Women have very little idea of how much men hate them. — Germaine Greer,woman quotes

 

Women keep a special corner of their hearts for sins they have never committed. — Cornelia Otis Skinner

 

Women like silent men. They think they're listening. — Marcel Achard,woman quotes

 

Women love us for our defects. If we have enough of them, they will forgive us everything, even our gigantic intellects. — Oscar Wilde

 

Women speak two languages — one of which is verbal. — William Shakespeare,woman quotes

 

Women who make men talk better than they are accustomed to are always popular. — E.V. Lucas,woman quotes

 

You have to have the kind of body that doesn't need a girdle in order to get to pose in one. — Carolyn Kenmore,woman quotes

 

You see, dear, it is not true that woman was made from man's rib; she was really made from his funny bone. — J.M. Barrie

 

You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. — Dave Barry

 

You start out happy that you have no hips or boobs. All of a sudden you get them, and it feels sloppy. Then just when you start liking them, they start drooping. — Cindy Crawford