The largest collection of amazing 80 Mark Twain quotes

The largest collection of amazing 80 Mark Twain quotes,An inspirational collection of famous Mark Twain quotes and sayings

4 Mark Twain quotes
Men are easily dealt with—but when you get the women started, you are in for it, you know.― Mark Twain quotes

My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water. – Mark Twain quotes

My interest in my work dies a sudden and violent death when the work is done.― Mark Twain quotes

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. – Mark Twain quotes

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.― Mark Twain quotes

Necessity is the mother of taking chances. – Mark Twain quotes

Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.― Mark Twain quotes

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.― Mark Twain quotes

Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel. – Mark Twain quotes

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. – Mark Twain quotes

Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.― Mark Twain quotes

No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon. – Mark Twain quotes

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. – Mark Twain quotes

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. – Mark Twain quotes

Nothing that grieves us can be called little: by the eternal laws of proportion a child's loss of a doll and a king's loss of a crown are events of the same 

size.― Mark Twain quotes

Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve 

the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.― Mark Twain quotes

Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.― Mark Twain quotes

Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. – Mark Twain quotes

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. – Mark Twain quotes

Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.' – Mark Twain quotes

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. – Mark Twain quotes

Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled. – Mark Twain quotes

Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.― Mark Twain quotes

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.― Mark Twain quotes

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about. – Mark Twain quotes

Patriotism is merely a religion–love of country, worship of country, devotion to the country's flag and honor and welfare.― Mark Twain quotes

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. – Mark Twain quotes

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed. – Mark Twain quotes

Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks. – Mark Twain quotes

Prosperity is the best protector of principle. – Mark Twain quotes

Put all your eggs in one basket — and watch that basket!― Mark Twain quotes

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.― Mark Twain quotes

Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late. – Mark Twain quotes

Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.― Mark Twain quotes

Self-approval is acquired mainly from the approval of other people.― Mark Twain quotes

She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot. – Mark Twain 



Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.― Mark Twain quotes

Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough. – Mark Twain quotes

Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.― Mark Twain quotes

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself. – Mark Twain quotes

The air up there in the clouds is very pure and fine, bracing and delicious. And why shouldn't it be? –it is the same the angels breathe.― Mark Twain 


The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. – Mark Twain quotes

The Bible has noble poetry in it… and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.― Mark Twain quotes

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. – Mark Twain quotes

The common eye sees only the outside of things, and judges by that, but the seeing eye pierces through and reads the heart and the soul, finding there 

capacities which the outside didn't indicate or promise, and which the other kind couldn't detect.― Mark Twain quotes

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.― Mark Twain quotes, The Wit and 

Wisdom of Mark Twain quotes

The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's.― Mark Twain quotes

The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.― Mark Twain quotes

The educated Southerner has no use for an 'r', except at the beginning of a word. – Mark Twain quotes

The elastic heart of youth cannot be compressed into one constrained shape long at a time.― Mark Twain quotes

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.― Mark Twain quotes

The finest clothing made is a person's own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this. – Mark Twain quotes

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year. – Mark Twain quotes

The holy passion of friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring in nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend 

money.― Mark Twain quotes

The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.― Mark Twain quotes

The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner. – Mark Twain quotes

The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.― Mark 

Twain quotes


The lack of money is the root of all evil.― Mark Twain quotes

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. – Mark Twain quotes

The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.― Mark Twain quotes

The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little. – Mark Twain quotes

The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become. – Mark Twain quotes

The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it. – Mark Twain quotes

The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop. – Mark Twain quotes

The only reason why God created man is because he was disappointed with the monkey.― Mark Twain quotes

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. – Mark Twain quotes

The Public is merely a multiplied 'me.' – Mark Twain quotes

The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all. – Mark Twain quotes

The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.― Mark Twain quotes

The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. – Mark Twain quotes

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause. – Mark Twain quotes

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane. – Mark Twain quotes

The secret of getting ahead is getting started. – Mark Twain quotes

The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation.― Mark Twain quotes

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven. – Mark Twain quotes

The secret to getting ahead is getting started.― Mark Twain quotes

The sole impulse which dictates and compels a man's every act: the imperious necessity of securing his own approval, in every emergency and at all costs…. 

It is our only spur, our whip, our goad, our impelling power; we have no other.― Mark Twain quotes


The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.― Mark Twain quotes

The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.― Mark Twain quotes

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.― Mark Twain quotes

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