Smoking quotes,funny smoking quotes of all time

Smoking quotes,funny smoking quotes of all time

smoking quotes

“A cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure. It is exquisite, and it leaves one unsatisfied. What more can one want?”  — Oscar Wilde,smoking quotes


“A nonsmoker is forced to find food, but for a smoker breakfast can be a cigarette and a cup of bad coffee.”  — Terri Guillemets


“A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.” —  Rudyard Kipling,smoking quotes


“Be nice to the smoking ones… Every cigarette may be their last.” —  Author Unknown


“Char bought a pack of clove cigarettes, claiming they tasted good, to which I ask why doesn't she just go suck on a clove so I don't have to inhale her perfumed second hand smoke?” ― Julie Halpern


“Cigarettes are killers that travel in packs.” —  Author Unknown


“Coffee and tobacco are complete repose.” —  Turkish Proverb,smoking quotes


“Don't drink and drive, just smoke and fly!” —  Author Unknown


“Due to state laws, the restaurant was nonsmoking, which as a nonsmoker pleases me, but as a Libertarian it pisses me off.?” ― Jarod Kintz


“For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward.” —  Jay Leno,smoking quotes


“Forcing smoke down my lungs is pulmonary rape. It invades my body against my will, and it's not fair.” —  Patty Young


“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.” ― Mark Twain,smoking quotes


“Good food, good sex, good digestion, good sleep: to these basic animal pleasures, man has added nothing but the good cigarette.” —  Mignon McLaughlin


“He who doth not smoke hath either known no great griefs, or refuseth himself the softest consolation, next to that which comes from heaven.” ― Edward Bulwer-Lytton


“I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I haven't had time for tobacco since. ”—  Arturo Toscanini


“I only smoke after meals, but I eat to twenty times a day.” —  Author Unknown


“I ran like a cheetah – well, like a cheetah that smoked too much.” ― John Green,smoking quotes


“I really hate cigarettes, because whenever I see one, I burn it!” —  Author Unknown


“I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: "Oh well," and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.” —  Benny Hill,smoking quotes


“I tried to stop smoking cigarettes by telling myself "I don't want to smoke", but I didn't believe myself.” —  Author Unknown


“I used to smoke two packs a day and I just hate being a nonsmoker…. but I will never consider myself a nonsmoker because I always find smokers the most interesting people at the table.” —  Michelle Pfeiffer


“I want all hellions to quit puffing that hell fume in God's clean air.”  — Carrie Nation,smoking quotes


“I was very surprised when last I bought a packet of cigarettes and had to request a refund as I read a warning that told me "smoking can cause fatal lung cancer".” ― Robert Clark


“I was warned to stop smoking, which I did, for two or three days, but it was too lonesome, and I have resumed — in a modified way — 4 smokes a day instead of 40. This will have a good effect. On the bank balance. ” — Mark Twain,smoking quotes


“I would like to be a volcano. I would smoke all day and people would say – look he is working!” —  Author Unknown


“I'd rather kiss a mad cow on the muzzle than a smoker on the mouth. ”—  Paul Carvel,smoking quotes


“If smoking is so bad for you, how come it cures salmon? ” — Author Unknown


“If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.” —  Douglas Adams


“If you must smoke, take your butt outside. ”—  Author Unknown


“I'm glad I don't have to explain to a man from Mars why each day I set fire to dozens of little pieces of paper, and put them in my mouth.” —  Mignon McLaughlin


“In a gathering of two or more people, when a lighted cigarette is placed in an ashtray, the smoke will waft into the face of the non-smoker.” —  Author Unknown


“It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake. ”—  Mark Twain,smoking quotes


“It is easy to quit; I have quit at least a hundred times. ”— Author Unknown


“It is quite a three-pipe problem. ” — Arthur Conan Doyle,smoking quotes


“It's been proven that all people that smoke die… It's also been proven that all people that don't smoke die too!” —  Author Unknown


“I've been smoking nearly 50 years now. I just don't feel safe breathing anything I can't see!” —  Dave Beard


“Man, it was a good thing vampires didn't get cancer. Lately he'd been chain-smoking like a felon.” ― J.R. Ward


“Much smoking kills live men and cures dead swine.” —  George D. Prentice,smoking quotes


“Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can't find your cigarettes.” —  Author Unknown


“Now the only thing I miss about sex is the cigarette afterward. Next to the first one in the morning, it's the best one of all. It tasted so good that even if I had been frigid I would have pretended otherwise just to be able to smoke it.” —  Florence King


“Ods me I marle what pleasure or felicity they have in taking their roguish tobacco. It is good for nothing but to choke a man, and fill him full of smoke and embers.” —  Ben Jonson,smoking quotes


“On CBS Radio the news of [Ed Murrow’s] death, reportedly from lung cancer, was followed by a cigarette commercial. ”—  Alexander Kendrick


“One cigarette per day keeps the doctor with pay.” —  Author Unknown


“One thousand Americans stop smoking every day — by dying. ” — Author Unknown


“People tell me I shouldn't smoke because it is makes you look like a tit. I use exactly the same argument when people tell me they go to the gym.” ― Robert Clark


“Please don't throw your cigarette butts in the urinal. It makes them soggy and hard to light. ”—  Author Unknown


“Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. ”—  Woody Allen,smoking quotes


“Shooting stars are just cigarettes throwning away by angels before God could catch them smoking” —  Author Unknown


“Smoke your pipe and be silent; there's only wind and smoke in the world.” —  Irish Proverb,smoking quotes


“Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. ”—  Author Unknown


“Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.” ― Brooke Shields


“Thank heaven, I have given up smoking again!… God! I feel fit. Homicidal, but fit. A different man. Irritable, moody, depressed, rude, nervy, perhaps; but the lungs are fine. ”—  A.P. Herbert


“The believing we do something when we do nothing is the first illusion of tobacco.”  — Ralph Waldo Emerson


“The best way to stop smoking is to carry wet matches. ”—  Author Unknown.


“The best way to stop smoking is to just stop – no ifs, ands or butts. ”—  Edith Zittler,smoking quotes


“The cigarette does the smoking – you're just the sucker. ”—  Author Unknown


“The only time I really think is when I smoke, and I quit smoking years ago.” ― Jarod Kintz,smoking quotes


“The public health authorities never mention the main reason many Americans have for smoking heavily, which is that smoking is a fairly sure, fairly honorable form of suicide.” —  Kurt Vonnegut


“There are some circles in America where it seems to be more socially acceptable to carry a hand-gun than a packet of cigarettes.” —  Katharine Whitehorn


“There's a lot of people who, a cigarette is about the only vacation they have. ”—  Trey Parker,smoking quotes


“There's something luxurious about having a girl light your cigarette. In fact, I got married once on account of that.” —  Harold Robbins


“To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times.” —  Mark Twain


“To smoke or not to smoke: I can make of either a life-work. ” — Mignon McLaughlin,smoking quotes


“To some, the cigarette is a portable therapist.”  — Terri Guillemets


“To that daintiest siren of puff and perfume, a Turkish cigarette.”  — Minna Thomas Antrim


“Watching the smoke dance out of a cigarette is like watching a girl dance out of her dress. ” — Terri Guillemets


“Why do you have a cigarette lighter in your glove compartment?" her husband, Jack, asked her. "I'm bored with knitting. I've taken up arson” ― Audrey Niffenegger

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