Great 69 funny friendship quotes and sayings of all time

Great 69 funny friendship quotes and sayings of all time

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“I hate it in friends when they come too late to help.”  — Euripides

“I have lost friends, some by death…others by sheer inability to cross the street” ― Virginia Woolf,funny friendship quotes

“I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies all right. But my damn friends – they're the ones that keep me walking the floor nights! ”  —  Warren G. Harding

“I lost my Christmas list and now I can’t remember who my friends are.” – Anonymous 

“I notice my wife when she's on the phone with her friends, man they will share every animate details of their lives with each other. See men once we become friends with another man we may never say another word to him, unless there's valuable information that needs to be exchanged. Things like "Hey Jim, your shirt's on fire."”  -Jeff Foxworthy

“I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying 'flee at once – all is discovered.' They all left town immediately.”   —  Mark Twain,funny friendship quotes

“I thought I was one of a kind,till I looked around at my friends then I realised, they are just as disturbed as I am.”  – Anonymous

“I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.” – Emo Philips

“I’ve always said that in politics, your enemies can’t hurt you, but your friends will kill you. ” — Ann Richards

“If you can survive 11 days in cramped quarters with a friend and come out laughing, your friendship is the real deal.”  — Oprah Winfrey,funny friendship quotes

“In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends.” ― John Churton Collins

“Is the only person who never gets tired of listening to your own pointless dramas over and over again.”   – Anonymous

“It is good to have friends both in Heaven and Hell.”   —  George Herbert

“It is important for our friends to believe that we are unreservedly frank with them, and important to friendship that we are not.” – Mignon McLaughlin

“It is in the thirties that we want friends. In the forties we know they won't save us any more than love did. ”  —  F. Scott Fitzgerald

“It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like “What about lunch?””  ― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.”  — Ralph Waldo Emerson

“It is the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and have her nonsense respected” ― Charles Lamb

“It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter. ” — Marlene Dietrich,funny friendship quotes

“Laughing at our friends, we avenge the disappointment they have caused.”   —  Mason Cooley

“Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.”― Borge, Victor

“Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend.”  — Sarah Dessen ,funny friendship quotes

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”  — Oprah Winfrey

“Love is only chatter, friends are all that matter.”  – Gelett Burgess

“Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police. ”  —  Robert Louis Stevenson,funny friendship quotes

“Men kick friendship around like a football and it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it falls to pieces. ” ― Anne Lindbergh

“Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.”  – Spike Milligan

“Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.”  —  Lord Chesterfield

“My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.” ― Garry Shandling,funny friendship quotes

“My friends, there are no friends.”  -Coco Chanel

“My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet. She's now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia ” ― Dame Edna Everage

“My true friends have always given me that supreme proof of devotion, a spontaneous aversion for the man I loved.”   —  Sidonie Gabrielle Colette

“My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.”   – Anonymous


“You’re the strangest person I ever met, she said & I said you too & we decided we’d know each other a long time.”― Brian Andreas ,funny friendship quotes


“Never explain yourself. Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it.” ― Belgicia Howell

“Never join with your friend when he abuses his horse or his wife, unless the one is about to be sold, the other to be buried. ”  —  Charles Caleb Colton

“Never tell your friends, “I told you so” – even when you did.”  — Wendy Jean Smith

“Nine-tenths of the people were created so you would want to be with the other tenth.”   —  Horace Walpole,funny friendship quotes

“No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend. ” -Groucho Marx

“Nothing more cheerful than talking about our friends’ shortcomings.”   —  Mason Cooley

“One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.” – George Carlin

“One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.”  — Clifton Fadiman


“Show me a genuine case of platonic friendship, and I shall show you two old or homely faces. ”  —  Austin O'Malley

“Some people look for a beautiful place, others make a place beautiful.”― Hazrat Inayat Khan,funny friendship quotes

“Sometimes me think, ‘What is friend?’ Then me say, ‘Friend is someone to share the last cookie with.’”  — Cookie Monster

“That is what friendship means. Sharing the prejudice of experience. ”  —  Charles Bukowski

“The art of giving advice to best friends is to make them believe that they thought of it themselves. ”  —  Unknown

“The best mirror is an old friend. ”  —  George Herbert

“The best time to make friends is before you need them.”   —  Ether Barrymore,funny friendship quotes

“The capacity for friendship is God’s way of apologizing for our families.”  — Jay McInerney,funny friendship quotes

“The enemy of my enemy is my friend. ”  —  Arabian Friendship Proverb

“The holy passion of Friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.”  — Mark Twain

“The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist.” ― Aaron Machado

“The world is round so that friendship may encircle it.”  -Pierre Teilhard De Chardin

“There are some things you can’t share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them.”  — J.K. Rowling

“Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and to have her nonsense respected.”― Charles Lamb,funny friendship quotes

“Treat your friends as you do your pictures and place them in their best light. ”  —  Jennie Jerome Churchill

“True friends are those who, when you make a fool of yourself, don't believe that this condition is permanent.” – Erwin T. Randall 

“True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable.”  -Dave Tyson Gentry

“True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.” ― Charles Caleb Colton,funny friendship quotes

“Two people are never such good friends as when they share a mutual dislike of a third person.”  – Anonymous

“We English are good at forgiving our enemies; it releases us from the obligation of liking our friends.”  -P.D. James

“We must hang together, or surely we shall hang separately. ”  —  Benjamin Franklin

“What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, unless your friends are on twitter.” – Greg Tamblyn,funny friendship quotes

“When a man laughs at his troubles he loses a great many friends. They never forgive the loss of their prerogative.”   —  H. L. Mencken

“When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier.”  — Diane Von Furstenberg,funny friendship quotes

“When a woman like that whom I've seen so much, All of a sudden drops out of touch; Is always busy and never can, Spare you a moment, it means a man.”  — Alice Duer Miller

“When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun.'”  ― Groucho Marx

“You and I are more than friends. We’re like a really small gang.”  — Unknown

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