funny inspirational quotes are great for bringing a bit of humor into our lives

funny inspirational quotes are great for bringing a bit of humor into our lives

funny inspirational quotes

“If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.” – Unknown


“If you are afraid of being lonely, don't try to be right.” – Jules Renard quotes,funny inspirational quotes


“If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?”– Unknown


“If at first you don't succeed, think how many people you've made happy.”– H. Duane Black quotes,funny inspirational quotes


“I’ll probably never fully become what I wanted to be when I grew up, but that’s probably because I wanted to be a ninja princess.” – Cassandra Duffy


“I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.”– Tom Lehrer


“I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.”- Mark Twain quotes,funny inspirational quotes


“I realized I was officially a professional writer when all my plans began with “drink coffee” and ended with “take a nap.” – cassandra Duffy


“I never did give them hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell.”- Harry S Truman quotes,funny inspirational quotes


“I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.”- Will Rogers  quotes,funny inspirational quotes


“I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early.”- Yogi Berra


“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.” – Steven Wright


“I have a simple philosophy: Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. Scratch where it itches.” – Alice Roosevelt Longworth


“I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet.” — Denis Waitley quotes,funny inspirational quotes


“I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.”– Groucho Marx


“I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong. ”- Benjamin Franklin


“I cannot afford to waste my time making money. ”- Louis Agassiz


“I believe in the discipline of silence, and could talk for hours about it.”– George Bernard Shaw quotes,funny inspirational quotes


“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”- Oscar Wilde quotes,funny inspirational quotes


“I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.” — Woody Allen


“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”- Mark Twain


“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin


“Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted. ”- Martin Luther King, Jr.


“Hope is the dream of the waking man. ”- Aristotle


“Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.”- Franklin P. Jones


“Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you’re alive it isn’t.” – Richard Bach quotes,funny inspirational quotes


“Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history.”- George Bernard Shaw


“Hating people is like burning down your own home to get rid of a rat.”- Harry Emerson Fosdick


“Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.” – Albert Einstein quotes,funny inspirational quotes


“Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.”– David Rosam


“Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.” – La Rochefoucald quotes,funny inspirational quotes


“Give me a stock clerk with a goal and I'll give you a man who will make history. Give me a man with no goals and I'll give you a stock clerk.” – J.C. Penney


“Follow your dreams, except for the one where you're naked in church.”- Rev. David Ault


“Focus, focus, focus! What am I, a telescope?!” – Naruto Uzumaki


“Five out of four people have trouble with fractions. ”- Unknown


“Families are like fudge… mostly sweet with a few nuts.” — Author Unknown


“Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.” – Truman Capote quotes,funny inspirational quotes


“Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” – Will Rogers


“Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.”- Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach


“Edison failed 10, 000 times before he made the electric light. Do not be discouraged if you fail a few times.” – Napoleon Hill quotes,funny inspirational quotes


“Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.”– Ahmad


“Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.” – James Dean quotes,funny inspirational quotes


“Don't wait for a light to appear at the end of the tunnel, stride down there and light the bloody thing yourself.”– Sara Henderson


“Don't mind your make-up, you'd better make your mind up.”- Frank Zappa 


“Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.” — Mark Twain


“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.” – Charles Schulz quotes,funny inspirational quotes


“Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing ’til it gets there. ”- Josh Billings


“Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous”- Albert Einstein


“Change is not a four letter word… but often your reaction to it is! ”-Jeffrey Gitomer


“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.”– Robert Frost


“Anyone who takes himself too seriously always runs the risk of looking ridiculous; anyone who can consistently laugh at himself does not.”- Vaclav Havel


“Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.” – Mark Twain  quotes,funny inspirational quotes


“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.” — Mark Twain


“Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.”- Mark Twain


“A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks.” — Charles Gordy quotes,funny inspirational quotes


“A smile confuses an approaching frown.” — Author Unknown


“A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs ”– jolted by every pebble in the road.– Henry Ward Beecher


“A peacock that rests on his feathers is just another turkey.”- Dolly Parton


“A good time for laughing is when you can.”- Jessamyn West


“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” – Unknown


“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin


“You grow up the day you have your first real laugh – at yourself.”- Ethel Barrymore


“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.”― Franklin P. Adams quotes,funny inspirational quotes


“When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.” -Albert Einstein


“When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he’s doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.― Erma Bombeck


“The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.”- Lane Olinghouse 


“The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.” -Albert Einstein quotes,funny inspirational quotes


“The biggest thing I remember is that there was just no transition. You hit the ground diapering.”-Paul Reiser


“Sometimes you just have to put on lip gloss and pretend to be psyched.” ― Mindy Kaling


“Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.” – Dale Carnegie


“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” -Zig Ziglar


“Parents always make their worst mistakes with their oldest children. That's when parents know the least and care the most, so they're more likely to be wrong and also more likely to insist that they're right.” ― Orson Scott Card, Xenocide


“No matter where life takes me, you'll find me with a smile. Presumed to be happy, always laughing like a child. I never thought life could be this sweet! It's got me cheesing from cheek to cheek!” ― Mac Miller


“Never trust a man with a penis.” ― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead quotes,funny inspirational quotes


“Man has will… but woman has her way.” –Unknown


“If you have never been hated by your child, you have never been a parent.”― Bette Davis


“If laughter is the best medicine, let's OD together.” ― Michael P. Clutton


“I’m 59 and people call me middle aged. How many 118 year old men do you know?” -Barry Cryer quotes,funny inspirational quotes


“I used to believe my father about everything but then I had children myself & now I see how much stuff you make up just to keep yourself from going crazy.”― Brian Andreas


“Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.”-David Frost quotes,funny inspirational quotes


“Having a child is liking getting a tattoo…on your face. You better be committed.”- Eat Pray Love screenplay


“God helps those who strut their stuff.” ― Dan Sofer


“Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.”― P.J. O’Rourke quotes,funny inspirational quotes


“A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often” -Oliver Herford

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