all 50 best and funny 50th birthday quotes compilation

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funny 50th birthday quotes
I’m aiming by the time I’m fifty to stop being an adolescent.
– Wendy Cope quotes

You are older than 49 year old in the world,Now you can round your age up to 100!

Sex is as good at 50 as it was at 20. The only difference is I’m not into all that freakin’ Cirque de Soleil stuff because I’m as flexible as a two-by-four with as much stamina as an emphysema patient on oxygen.
– Janet Periat quotes

Did you know that 50% of 50-year-olds will make it to 100? Did you also know that 50% of all statistics in this card are false?

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
– Bob Hope quotes

Looking fifty is great – if you're sixty.
Joan Rivers quotes

Turning 50 should at least help your memory in one way: 50 is an easier number to remember than 49.

Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty.
Coco Chanel quotes

For my 50th birthday, my husband and I spent a weekend in Rehoboth Beach. My first choice was 1978, but the time machine was booked.
– Jean Sorensen quotes


10 funny 50th birthday quotes
There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of the people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will have truly defeated age. ~ Sofia Loren quotes


50-year-old people are much more selective. They have selective hearing and choose their battles wisely.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
– Phyllis Diller quotes

Another belief of mine: that everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise. ~ Margaret Atwood

There is a direct relationship between age and the amount of noise you make when getting up….If you sit too long, everything solidifies.
– Janet Periat quotes

I’m 50, and the only thing getting thinner is my skin.
– Melanie White quotes

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
– Will Rogers quotes

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.
– Bill Vaughan quotes

After fifty, one ceases to digest. As someone once said, “I just ferment my food now.”
– Henry Green quotes

It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash. ~ Emily Carr quotes



20 funny 50th birthday quotes
50 years old means no more wearing speedos on the beach. This is a rule.
– Greg Tamblyn quotes

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to. ~ Bill Vaughan quotes

It is the spirit of the age to believe that any fact, no matter how suspect, is superior to any imaginative exercise, no matter how true. 


At 50, you’ve entered the stone age: gall, kidney, and bladder.
– Anonymous quotes

You’re not only nifty at 50 — you’re a spiffy, gritty, thrifty, lofty and, when no one’s around, frisky 50 year old.


50 years old? Look on the bright side. The older you get, the more likely you are to outlive your child support payments.
-Melanie White quotes

Just remember, when you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.
– Charles M. Schulz quotes

I rented a bounce house for my adults-only 50th birthday and had a blast jumping in the stupid thing. I kept expecting the Age Police to show up and ticket me.
– Janet Periat quotes

A fiftieth birthday is actually a milestone which reads ‘Proceed at your own risk’ Happy 50th birthday.

Don’t ever bother spending money on anti aging creams or face-lifting lotions. At 50, there is no turning back even with a secret potion.


30 funny 50th birthday quotes
"I have everything now I had twenty years ago — except now it’s all lower."

Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
– Joey Adams quotes

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
– Lucille Ball quotes

"After a man is 50, you can fool him by saying he is smart, but you can't fool him by saying he is pretty. "
E.W. House quotes

Middle age occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush the net.
– Franklin P. Jones quotes

Turning 50 means it's only a matter of time before you're regaling your grandkids with the details of your first colonoscopy.
– Greg Tamblyn quotes

Fifty is a weird age. I can clearly remember my childhood, but I can’t remember where I put my keys.
– Melanie White quotes

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.
– Dave Barry quotes

When you’re 50, every time you look in the mirror you think it must be April Fools Day.
– Melanie White quotes

Gray hair is God's graffiti.
– Bill Cosby quotes


40 funny 50th birthday quotes
When you’re 50 and wake up without any aches and pains, you know it’s going to be a good day.
– Melanie White quotes

At 21 you’re finally free to slam down the throttle and see how fast you can go. At 30 you realize, hey, this thing has a brake pedal too. By 40, that brake pedal is showing some serious wear. At 50, let’s face it, you need a brake job.
– Greg Tamblyn quotes

There’s nothing stressful about turning 50 – except people reminding you about it.
Melanie White quotes

"50 years: here's a time when you have to separate yourself from what other people expect of you, and do what you love. Because if you find yourself 50 years old and you aren't doing what you love, then what's the point?"
Jim Carrey quotes

Kin Hubbard quotes: "Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs. "


Melanie White quotes: "Happy 50th – the years look good on you! But then, I don’t see as well as I used to."


Helen Hayes say: "Age is not important unless you're a cheese."


Melanie Whiten quotes: "Fifty and time to face the facial truth. You’ve got wrinkle cream defeated."

Franklin Pierce Adams quotes: "Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory."

Joey Adams quotes: "Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you."


Melanie White quotes: "Don’t call them age spots; they’re big freckles."

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