all 50 best and funny 50th birthday quotes compilation

funny 50th birthday quotes,Enjoying our funny 50th birthday quotes,wishes,messages and sayings.
if you wanna write some birthday wishes or quotes for 50 years, yothose funny message and quotes maybe useful for you.

1.
I’m aiming by the time I’m fifty to stop being an adolescent.
– Wendy Cope quotes

2.
You are older than 49 year old in the world,Now you can round your age up to 100!

3.
Sex is as good at 50 as it was at 20. The only difference is I’m not into all that freakin’ Cirque de Soleil stuff because I’m as flexible as a two-by-four with as much stamina as an emphysema patient on oxygen.
– Janet Periat quotes

4.
Did you know that 50% of 50-year-olds will make it to 100? Did you also know that 50% of all statistics in this card are false?

5.
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
– Bob Hope quotes

6.
Looking fifty is great – if you're sixty.
Joan Rivers quotes

7.
Turning 50 should at least help your memory in one way: 50 is an easier number to remember than 49.

8.
Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty.
Coco Chanel quotes

9.
For my 50th birthday, my husband and I spent a weekend in Rehoboth Beach. My first choice was 1978, but the time machine was booked.
– Jean Sorensen quotes

10.

There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of the people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will have truly defeated age. ~ Sofia Loren quotes

 

11.
50-year-old people are much more selective. They have selective hearing and choose their battles wisely.

12.
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
– Phyllis Diller quotes

13.
Another belief of mine: that everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise. ~ Margaret Atwood

14.
There is a direct relationship between age and the amount of noise you make when getting up….If you sit too long, everything solidifies.
– Janet Periat quotes

15.
I’m 50, and the only thing getting thinner is my skin.
– Melanie White quotes

16.
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
– Will Rogers quotes

17.
Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.
– Bill Vaughan quotes

18.
After fifty, one ceases to digest. As someone once said, “I just ferment my food now.”
– Henry Green quotes

19.
It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash. ~ Emily Carr quotes

 

20.

50 years old means no more wearing speedos on the beach. This is a rule.
– Greg Tamblyn quotes

21.
Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to. ~ Bill Vaughan quotes

22.
It is the spirit of the age to believe that any fact, no matter how suspect, is superior to any imaginative exercise, no matter how true. 

 

23.
At 50, you’ve entered the stone age: gall, kidney, and bladder.
– Anonymous quotes

24.
You’re not only nifty at 50 — you’re a spiffy, gritty, thrifty, lofty and, when no one’s around, frisky 50 year old.

 

25.
50 years old? Look on the bright side. The older you get, the more likely you are to outlive your child support payments.
-Melanie White quotes

26.
Just remember, when you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.
– Charles M. Schulz quotes

27.
I rented a bounce house for my adults-only 50th birthday and had a blast jumping in the stupid thing. I kept expecting the Age Police to show up and ticket me.
– Janet Periat quotes

28.
A fiftieth birthday is actually a milestone which reads ‘Proceed at your own risk’ Happy 50th birthday.

29.
Don’t ever bother spending money on anti aging creams or face-lifting lotions. At 50, there is no turning back even with a secret potion.

30.

"I have everything now I had twenty years ago — except now it’s all lower."

31.
Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
– Joey Adams quotes

32.
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
– Lucille Ball quotes

33.
"After a man is 50, you can fool him by saying he is smart, but you can't fool him by saying he is pretty. "
E.W. House quotes

34.
Middle age occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush the net.
– Franklin P. Jones quotes

35.
Turning 50 means it's only a matter of time before you're regaling your grandkids with the details of your first colonoscopy.
– Greg Tamblyn quotes

36.
Fifty is a weird age. I can clearly remember my childhood, but I can’t remember where I put my keys.
– Melanie White quotes

37.
The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.
– Dave Barry quotes

38.
When you’re 50, every time you look in the mirror you think it must be April Fools Day.
– Melanie White quotes

39.
Gray hair is God's graffiti.
– Bill Cosby quotes

40.

When you’re 50 and wake up without any aches and pains, you know it’s going to be a good day.
– Melanie White quotes

41.
At 21 you’re finally free to slam down the throttle and see how fast you can go. At 30 you realize, hey, this thing has a brake pedal too. By 40, that brake pedal is showing some serious wear. At 50, let’s face it, you need a brake job.
– Greg Tamblyn quotes

42.
There’s nothing stressful about turning 50 – except people reminding you about it.
Melanie White quotes

43.
"50 years: here's a time when you have to separate yourself from what other people expect of you, and do what you love. Because if you find yourself 50 years old and you aren't doing what you love, then what's the point?"
Jim Carrey quotes

44.
Kin Hubbard quotes: "Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs. "

 

45.
Melanie White quotes: "Happy 50th – the years look good on you! But then, I don’t see as well as I used to."

 

46.
Helen Hayes say: "Age is not important unless you're a cheese."

 

47.
Melanie Whiten quotes: "Fifty and time to face the facial truth. You’ve got wrinkle cream defeated."

48.
Franklin Pierce Adams quotes: "Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory."

49.
Joey Adams quotes: "Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you."

 

50.
Melanie White quotes: "Don’t call them age spots; they’re big freckles."