A good collection of Cool witty quotes and sayings

A good collection of Cool witty quotes and sayings

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witty quotes

“A free society is a place where it’s safe to be unpopular.” – Adlai Stevenson


“A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. ”  ―  Yogi Berra


“All jobs are easy to the person who doesn’t have to do them. ” – Holt’s Law


“Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours. ”  ―  Yogi Berra


“Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies.”  ― Oliver Goldsmith


“Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness. ” – Chinese proverb


“Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance. ” – Will Durant


“Every habit makes our hand more witty, and out wit more handy. ” ― Friedrich Nietzsche


“Every man is the architect of his own fortune.”  – Appius Claudius


“Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege. ”  ―  Unknown


“Experience is the name so many people give to their mistakes.”   ―  Unknown


“Good people are good because they’ve come to wisdom through failure.”  – William Saroyan


“He was happily married   ―  but his wife wasn't.”   ―  Victor Borge


“He who cannot agree with his enemies is controlled by them. ” – Chinese proverb


“I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else.”  ― G. K. Chesterton


“I can resist everything except temptation.”   ―  Unknown


“I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves are.” ― Jarod Kintz


“I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”   ―  Mark Twain


“I disapprove of what you say, but will defend to the death your right to say it.”  – Voltaire


“I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here. ”  ―  Stephen Bishop


“I have nothing to declare except my genius.”   ―  Oscar Wilde


“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”   ―  Unknown


“I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”  ― Douglas Adams


“I think; therefore I am. ” – Rene Descartes


“I want to write my own eulogy, and I want to write it in Latin. It seems only fitting to read a dead language at my funeral.” ― Jarod Kintz


“If an apology is followed by an excuse or a reason, it means they are going to commit same mistake again they just apologized for.” ― Amit Kalantri


“If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.” – Anonymous


“If one has not given everything, one has given nothing. ” – Georges Guynemer


“If sex were shoes, I'd wear you out. But I wouldn't wear you out in public.” ― Jarod Kintz


“If you can’t convince them, confuse them. ” – Harry S Truman


“If you choose not to decide – you still have made a choice! ” – Neil Peart


“If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies? ”  ―  Charles Pierce


“If you think education is expensive, try Ignorance.”   ―  Andy McIntyre


“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”  – G. K. Chesterton, Dorothy Parker


“Intelligence is more important than strength, that is why earth is ruled by men and not by animals.” ― Amit Kalantri


“Isn’t it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists? ” – Kelvin Throop


“It is the province of knowledge to speak and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen.”  – Oliver Wendell Holmes


“It usually takes a long time to find a shorter way.”  – Anonymous


“It’s better to be quotable than to be honest. ” – Tom Stoppard


“It's a catastrophic success.”   ―  Unknown


“It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black. ”  ―  Paul Newman


“Necessity is the mother of invention.”  – Plato


“Never argue with a fool. Someone watching may not be able to tell the difference.”  – Anonymous


“No man’s knowledge here can go beyond his experience.”  – John Locke


“Nothing endures but change.”  – Heraclitus


“One must have a heart of stone to read the death of little Nell without laughing.”  ― Oscar Wilde


“Reality” is the only word in the English language that should always be used in quotes.”  – Anonymous


“Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.”  – Woody Allen


“Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. ”  ―  Ashleigh Briliant


“Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. ” – W. C. Fields


“Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.”  – Ann Landers


“The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.” ― Robert Brault


“The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice we give to others.”  – Anonymous


“The covers of this book are too far apart.”  ― Ambrose Bierce


“The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.”  – Anonymous


“The first rule to tinkering is to save all the parts.”  – Paul Erlich


“The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided. ” – Casey Stengal


“The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.”  – Oscar Wilde


“The quality of an organization can never exceed the quality of the minds that make it up. ” – Harold R. McAlindon


“The small amount of foolery wise men have makes a great show.”  ― William Shakespeare


“The world was my oyster but I used the wrong fork.”  ― Oscar Wilde


“There are no rules here – we’re trying to accomplish something.”  – Thomas A. Edison


“Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. ” – Alfred Lord Tennyson


“True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing.”  – Socrates


“What does not kill me makes me stronger. ” – Goethe


“Where you stand depends on where you sit.”  ― Nelson Mandela


“Wine gives courage and makes men more apt for passion. ” – Ovid


“Wine is bottled poetry.”  – Robert Louis Stevenson


“With stupidity the gods themselves struggle in vain.”  – Friedrich von Schiller


“Wretched the man whose fame makes his misfortunes famous.”  – Lucius Accius


“Writers don't get mad they get even in their novels.” ― Candace C. Bowen


“You know, you're rather amusingly wrong.” ― Terry Pratchett


“You should praise, criticize and flirt with people right to their face, only then it will make a difference.” ― Amit Kalantri



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