A good collection of Cool witty quotes and sayings
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“A free society is a place where it’s safe to be unpopular.” – Adlai Stevenson
“A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. ” ― Yogi Berra
“All jobs are easy to the person who doesn’t have to do them. ” – Holt’s Law
“Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours. ” ― Yogi Berra
“Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies.” ― Oliver Goldsmith
“Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness. ” – Chinese proverb
“Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance. ” – Will Durant
“Every habit makes our hand more witty, and out wit more handy. ” ― Friedrich Nietzsche
“Every man is the architect of his own fortune.” – Appius Claudius
“Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege. ” ― Unknown
“Experience is the name so many people give to their mistakes.” ― Unknown
“Good people are good because they’ve come to wisdom through failure.” – William Saroyan
“He was happily married ― but his wife wasn't.” ― Victor Borge
“He who cannot agree with his enemies is controlled by them. ” – Chinese proverb
“I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else.” ― G. K. Chesterton
“I can resist everything except temptation.” ― Unknown
“I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves are.” ― Jarod Kintz
“I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” ― Mark Twain
“I disapprove of what you say, but will defend to the death your right to say it.” – Voltaire
“I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here. ” ― Stephen Bishop
“I have nothing to declare except my genius.” ― Oscar Wilde
“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.” ― Unknown
“I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer” ― Douglas Adams
“I think; therefore I am. ” – Rene Descartes
“I want to write my own eulogy, and I want to write it in Latin. It seems only fitting to read a dead language at my funeral.” ― Jarod Kintz
“If an apology is followed by an excuse or a reason, it means they are going to commit same mistake again they just apologized for.” ― Amit Kalantri
“If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.” – Anonymous
“If one has not given everything, one has given nothing. ” – Georges Guynemer
“If sex were shoes, I'd wear you out. But I wouldn't wear you out in public.” ― Jarod Kintz
“If you can’t convince them, confuse them. ” – Harry S Truman
“If you choose not to decide – you still have made a choice! ” – Neil Peart
“If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies? ” ― Charles Pierce
“If you think education is expensive, try Ignorance.” ― Andy McIntyre
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.” – G. K. Chesterton, Dorothy Parker
“Intelligence is more important than strength, that is why earth is ruled by men and not by animals.” ― Amit Kalantri
“Isn’t it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists? ” – Kelvin Throop
“It is the province of knowledge to speak and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes
“It usually takes a long time to find a shorter way.” – Anonymous
“It’s better to be quotable than to be honest. ” – Tom Stoppard
“It's a catastrophic success.” ― Unknown
“It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black. ” ― Paul Newman
“Necessity is the mother of invention.” – Plato
“Never argue with a fool. Someone watching may not be able to tell the difference.” – Anonymous
“No man’s knowledge here can go beyond his experience.” – John Locke
“Nothing endures but change.” – Heraclitus
“One must have a heart of stone to read the death of little Nell without laughing.” ― Oscar Wilde
“Reality” is the only word in the English language that should always be used in quotes.” – Anonymous
“Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.” – Woody Allen
“Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. ” ― Ashleigh Briliant
“Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. ” – W. C. Fields
“Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.” – Ann Landers
“The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.” ― Robert Brault
“The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice we give to others.” – Anonymous
“The covers of this book are too far apart.” ― Ambrose Bierce
“The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.” – Anonymous
“The first rule to tinkering is to save all the parts.” – Paul Erlich
“The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided. ” – Casey Stengal
“The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.” – Oscar Wilde
“The quality of an organization can never exceed the quality of the minds that make it up. ” – Harold R. McAlindon
“The small amount of foolery wise men have makes a great show.” ― William Shakespeare
“The world was my oyster but I used the wrong fork.” ― Oscar Wilde
“There are no rules here – we’re trying to accomplish something.” – Thomas A. Edison
“Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. ” – Alfred Lord Tennyson
“True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing.” – Socrates
“What does not kill me makes me stronger. ” – Goethe
“Where you stand depends on where you sit.” ― Nelson Mandela
“Wine gives courage and makes men more apt for passion. ” – Ovid
“Wine is bottled poetry.” – Robert Louis Stevenson
“With stupidity the gods themselves struggle in vain.” – Friedrich von Schiller
“Wretched the man whose fame makes his misfortunes famous.” – Lucius Accius
“Writers don't get mad they get even in their novels.” ― Candace C. Bowen
“You know, you're rather amusingly wrong.” ― Terry Pratchett
“You should praise, criticize and flirt with people right to their face, only then it will make a difference.” ― Amit Kalantri