36 memable or funny girlfriend quotes compilation

1.
I have stepped off the relationship scene to come to terms with myself. I have spent most of my adult life being 'someone's girlfriend', and now I am happy being single. – Penelope Cruz    

2.
I love my girlfriend to bits. I’d never do anything to hurt her. – Charlie Simpson    

3.
I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows. -Janette Barber    

4.
I think the reason I don't read is because, when I'm reading, I feel like I'm missing out on something else. You know, What are my friends doing? Where's my girlfriend? – Adam Sandler    

5.
I wished for nothing beyond her smile, and to walk with her thus, hand in hand, along a sun-warmed, flower-bordered path. ~ Andre Gide    

6.
If I don’t get a girlfriend soon (number one on the list) I may have to resort to drastic measures like surgery (me) or hypnosis (them). – J.A. Buckle    

7.
If you’ve treated your girlfriend without respect, taken advantage of her, or cheated on her, your actions have taught her that she has no value. Needless to say, this is a serious, serious injury. If you don’t try to make it right, she might start to believe the lie you’ve told her and spend the rest of her life thinking she deserves poor treatment. – Josh Shipp    

8.
If your best friend has stolen your girlfriend, it does become life and death. – Ben Kingsley    

9.
Immature love says 'I love you because I need you'. Mature love says 'I need you because I love you'. – Erich Fromm    

10.
Inside every older person is a younger person — wondering what the hell happened. -Cora Harvey Armstrong    

11.
It’s important for me to treat a girlfriend with respect. My mum would be horrified if I behaved any differently – and I have sisters, and would hate for them to be treated badly by guys. – Louis Tomlinson    

12.
Just because we are women doesn’t mean the only roles we can play are that of the finger-shaking girlfriend. – Sarah Shahi    

13.
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends. -Laurie Kuslansky     

14.
London is like a girlfriend I loved, then really fell out with. – Lapo Elkann    

15.
Love and you shall be loved. All love is mathematically just, as much as two sides of an algebraic equation. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

16.    
My bed isn't made, I'm tired, I haven't slept well for two weeks. I haven't been laid in a month. I don't have a girlfriend. I have a warrant for my arrest. – Layne Staley    

17.
My first serious girlfriend, when I was 16, was Mormon. I went to her house for ‘family home evening,’ and I was like, ‘Why aren’t you people ignoring each other and watching television?’- Trey Parker    

18.
My girlfriend always laughs during sex – no matter what she's reading. –  Steve Jobs    

19.
My girlfriend and I never let each other forget how much we love each other. It's all about reminding the other person how important and special she is to 

you. – Tyler Hoechlin    

20.
My girlfriend is much better than I am at working hard then resting, and she demands that from me, too. She insists on having time when we don’t do anything. We leave the housework and watch a movie. – Cynthia Nixon    

21.
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my head on the top bunk bed until Ifaint. -Erma Bombeck    

22.
Not every problem someone has with his girlfriend is necessarily due to the capitalist mode of production. – Herbert Marcuse    

23.
People don’t get through to the essence of you right away – it’s always the famous ‘girl’ or the famous ‘girlfriend’. I’d rather be known for myself. – Vanessa Paradis    

24.
Personally, I don't like a girlfriend to have a husband. If she'll fool her husband, I figure she'll fool me. – Orson Welles    

 

25.
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. -Helen Hayes    

26.
The only people you can really share certain things with in secret are your girlfriends. – Shirley Knight

27.    
There are only two people in your life you should lie to… the police and your girlfriend. – Jack Nicholson    

28.
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. -Lily Tomlin    

29.
Two souls with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one. – John Keats    

30.
We are constantly protecting the male ego, and it’s a disservice to men. If a man has any sensitivity or intelligence, he wants to get the straight scoop from his girlfriend. – Betty Dodson    

31.
Well, a girlfriend once told me never to fight with anybody you don't love. – Jack Nicholson    

32.
Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. -Charlotte Whitton    

33.
When I turned 18, I skipped my party to take my girlfriend on a road trip. It turned out to be an amazing birthday. –  Josh Hartnett

34.    
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.' – Steven Wright    

35.
When my girlfriend and I talk about being happy, I’ll get choked up, which I think is the greatest gift you can give a girlfriend. – Seth Meyers

36.    
When you’re a teenager, you want to meet a lot of girls – you want to get the most girls. You don’t know anything about respect; you don’t know anything about being faithful and loyal to your girlfriend. – Nas